Plan on Holiday with partner

So if you are planning to go away with a partner   especially if it s the first time the two of you will be taking a trip together   follow these rules and perhaps you ll still want to look at each other when you return.

Make sure you both want go go to the same place   It s no use dragging her off to go hiking in the Himalayas if she d far rather be lying on a beach in Thailand. If your idea of a good holiday is vastly different from hers, perhaps you shouldn t be together, or perhaps you should take separate holidays. Or you could compromise and choose a place that offers both your types of enjoyment (such as a resort where one of you can go scuba diving while the other lounges next to the pool with a book and a pina colada).

Of course you might not know what her interests and idiosyncrasies actually are until you get there and find yourself shuffling from monument to monument to examine ancient firesoes, despite your longing to examine an affable pub. Holidays show us sides of our partners that we didn t even suspect existed. That s why it s important to discuss you idea holiday before you book the hotel room. If you think she might be agreeing with your choice of destination only to please you, that s her problem, but give haer a chance to voice her preferences.

It is always more fun to do the things you love with a partner who loves the same things, but it s inevitable that there will be areas of common disinterest between you. Make it clear that you don t mind pursuing your quest for the tallest redwood on your own, and make sure she knows that you don t intend accompanying her on visits to Cambodian orphanages (unless you want to, of course).

Divide the money. Money and map navigation are the two most common causes of holiday tension. Money is perhaps more important because even if you re lost, you re still okay if you can afford a bed for the night.

No matter how compatible you might be in other spheres, in every couple there is a partner who is the spender. This is increased a hundred-fold when on holiday. The one with the more careful nature will shy away from impulse purchases, while the other spontaneously lashes out on memorabilia that you don t need and that doesn t fit into your suitcase.

Some couples try to prevent money fights by nominating one partner as holder of the resolve arguments by saying.  I m the one in charge of the money and I say we can t have more than one ice cream a day  is only going to lead to acrimony. Even if one of you is financing the holiday   in fact, especially need to have access to your own money, or the power imbalance will lead to bitterness.

Workout the budget for the entire trip. Say accommodation is paid for, work out how much you ll need each day for food, and if one of you wants to exceed that budget on a particular day, then economize the next day. Divide your spending money in two and share it. Then, if one of you blows their entire allowance on a three-meter mahogany giraffe. It s only faire for the partner who still has money to dictate how it s spent.

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